Why comparing yourself to the star on your team doesn’t help
It is natural to measure yourself against the strongest person around you. But you only see their best moments, and their pace tells you very little about your own.
THE QUICK ANSWER
Compare yourself to one person only: you, ninety days ago. Measuring yourself against the star on your team means comparing your messy middle with their highlight reel, and their pace tells you nothing about yours. Write down three things you can do now that you could not do then. That is your scoreboard.
GO DEEPER
Your messy middle versus their highlight reel
Most teams have someone who seems to do everything well. They speak confidently in meetings, deliver quickly and get noticed by senior people. Watching them, it is easy to start measuring your own progress against theirs and to feel as though you are falling behind.
The comparison is not a fair one. You see every struggle, mistake and late night in your own work, but you mostly see the finished results of theirs. You are comparing your messy middle with their highlight reel. Their pace also reflects their own experience, role and circumstances, so it tells you nothing about what yours should be.
The fix is to compare yourself to one person only: you, ninety days ago. Write down three things you can do now that you could not do then. They might be skills, tasks you can now handle alone or conversations you feel more confident having. That list is your scoreboard.
Doing this regularly makes progress visible, which is easy to lose sight of when you are focused on someone else. It can also help in conversations with your manager, because you will have concrete examples of how you have grown. You can still learn from strong colleagues without using them as the measure of your own worth.
KEY TAKEAWAY
The only useful comparison is with yourself ninety days ago. Write down three things you can do now that you could not do then.
TEST YOURSELF
You keep comparing yourself to the strongest performer on your team and feeling behind. What does the video suggest?
PRACTISE IT
Try this lesson in the arcade
Quick retro games that start with this lesson’s situations. One thumb, one to three minutes, free.
