GUIDE · RETENTION
Stay interview questions: find out why people stay before they leave
An exit interview tells you why someone left. A stay interview asks the same questions while you can still do something about the answer. It is a short, planned conversation with someone you want to keep, about what keeps them here and what might pull them away.
It works because most people who leave were thinking about it for months, and nobody asked. The questions below are the ones that get real answers, plus a simple script and what to do afterwards, which matters more than the questions.
When to hold a stay interview
Hold it separately from a performance review or a regular one-on-one. If it is squeezed into a review, people answer as if they are being assessed.
- Once a year with everyone on your team, spread out so it never feels like a campaign.
- Six months into a new job, when people have formed a view but not yet decided anything.
- After a big change: a reorganisation, a new manager, a lost colleague, a promotion they didn’t get.
- When you notice quiet signs: someone stops volunteering, goes quiet in meetings, or stops talking about the future.
The questions that get honest answers
You do not need all of these. Pick four or five, ask them in order, and spend most of the time listening.
- WHAT KEEPS THEM
What do you look forward to when you start work in the morning?
- WHAT KEEPS THEM
If you were describing this job to a friend, what would you say is the best part?
- WHAT KEEPS THEM
What would you miss most if you left tomorrow?
- WHAT FRUSTRATES THEM
What is the most frustrating part of your week?
- WHAT FRUSTRATES THEM
What is one thing you would change about how the team works, if it was up to you?
- WHAT FRUSTRATES THEM
Is there anything you have stopped bothering to raise because nothing happens?
- GROWTH
What would you like to be doing more of in a year’s time?
- GROWTH
What skill do you feel you are not getting to use here?
- GROWTH
Is there a project or kind of work you have been hoping someone would offer you?
- THE RISK
Have you ever thought about leaving? What was happening at the time?
- THE RISK
If a recruiter called you this week, what might tempt you to take the call?
- THE RISK
What would make you leave without thinking twice?
- YOU
What could I do more of, or less of, that would make your work easier?
- YOU
How do you prefer to be recognised when something goes well?
- YOU
What do you need from me that you are not getting?
A simple 20-minute script
- Set it up in advance: “I want 20 minutes to ask what is working for you here and what isn’t. There is no hidden agenda, and nothing changes in your review.”
- Start with what keeps them (two questions). It is easier to talk honestly about problems after you have talked about what is good.
- Move to frustrations and growth (two or three questions). Ask “anything else?” once more than feels natural.
- Ask the risk question gently and do not react to the answer. Thank them for it, even if it stings.
- Finish by saying what you will do next and by when, even if it is only “I’ll come back to you on the project question by Friday.”
What to do with the answers
A stay interview that leads to nothing does more harm than not asking, because you have shown that speaking up changes nothing. Pick one thing you can act on within two weeks, do it, and tell them you did it.
Some answers you cannot fix, such as pay bands set above you. Say so honestly and explain what you can do instead, like making a case for them at the next review or giving them work that builds towards a promotion.
Keep short notes. Over a year, the same frustration from three people is a pattern, and patterns are what you take to your own manager.
Mistakes that make people close up
- Defending the company when they raise a problem. Listen first, explain later, if at all.
- Asking “Are you happy here?” A yes or no question gets a polite yes.
- Running it as a survey with a form. It should feel like a conversation, not a questionnaire.
- Only holding stay interviews with people you think are at risk. It singles them out.
- Promising things you cannot deliver to make the conversation end well.
Free tools for this
Frequently asked questions
What is the difference between a stay interview and an exit interview?
An exit interview happens after someone has resigned, so the answers can only help the next person. A stay interview asks the same questions while the person still works for you, so you can act on what you hear.
How often should managers hold stay interviews?
Once a year with each person is enough for most teams, plus an extra one after a big change or when someone seems to be pulling back. More often than that starts to feel like monitoring.
Should HR run stay interviews instead of the manager?
Usually the manager, because most reasons people stay or leave are about the day-to-day work and the relationship with their manager. HR can provide the questions and spot patterns across teams.
What if someone says they are thinking of leaving?
Thank them for being honest and ask what is behind it. Do not panic or make a counter-offer on the spot. Agree what you will look into, and come back within a week.
One-minute lessons on this
TOPIC 04The quiet sign an employee may be preparing to leave
TOPIC 03Why younger employees leave within their first year
TOPIC 20The burnout sign that can look like things calming down
TOPIC 10How to notice when your team has stopped volunteering
TOPIC 14Why the five-year question does not help people grow
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- How to manage people who used to be your peers (and friends)
- Your first team meeting as a new manager: agenda and what to say
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- What to say when an employee resigns (and what to do next)
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- Year-end performance reviews: a 6-week checklist for managers